Breaking the ice in a chat room is easier than striking up a conversation in the real world because, if you don't get the reception you're hoping for, you need only post to the next interesting person rather than slink away while people point and laugh at your failure. If you've got a feminine name or use the (f) symbol you'll likely be inundated with posts the second you step into the room. For that reason this entry is aimed primarily at men.
It's simple to tell you what approaches don't work. For pity's sake don't start out asking A/S/L, that's age, sex, location if you didn't know. This is about as effective a come on as walking up to someone in a bar and asking how much is in their bank account or if they're noisy when they fuck. I wouldn't recommend sending an extremely graphic post, picture or video either. Women, in general, are less instantly or visually stimulated than men. If some chick leaps on your dick after you send her a cumshot, experience says that's a guy pretending to be an insanely hot 19 year old. On a side note (I'm giving away one of my secrets here), if you want to weed out men pretending to be women, ask what size pantyhose they wear. Hose sizing is weird, and not many guys will get that answer right. If you want a woman to pay attention to you, don't use a lame line or give her a typed flower. -----{----{-@ The message this conveys is that you're unimaginative and that your conversation and sex is likely to be as uninspiring. Speaking of uninspiring, don't use text speak in a chat room. Why would someone want to spend time with you if you're not even motivated enough to spell out "you" instead of "U"?
What might work? There are two main ways to attract the kind of playmates you're hoping to meet. The first, is with a sort of introductory post. You can prepare these ahead of time and simply cut and paste to post to the room in general, or post privately to individuals. I think these posts work best if you're looking for a specific roleplay scenario. As an example, I'll paraphrase one I've seen used. "You're walking the paths at a public park in the evening and pass the bathrooms. Scrawled on the exterior of the men's room you see the message, 'Gang bang here. Come on in.' Today's date and a time. Probably just some graffiti bullshit, but glancing at your watch you realize that the time painted on the wall is only a few minutes away. You're curious." This is well-written, grammatically correct and to the point. It sets the stage for the fantasy and gives anyone interested a jumping off point for roleplay. For your introductory post you can write as much or as little as you want. My suggestion is that the length of your come on post should be related to how specific your fantasy needs to be to satisfy you. If you're open to anything then saying, "Hello, I'm a creative gentleman hoping for conversation with a woman who appreciates interactive erotica" could be enough to attract the attention of a like-minded woman. If a scene that involves high heels, riding crops and humiliation is the only thing that's going to get you off, spell it out. Whatever kind of post you choose, be descriptive. Throw in some adjectives. Make it interesting. If you post the same scenario to multiple women in the room, be prepared that someone may repost it publicly. Some women will be offended that you're reusing a line or posting them privately without being invited. Fuck 'em. Don't take the bait and be an ass back (even though she may deserve it). A polite and honest answer, that you're looking to meet partners with common interests, excuse the intrusion if you aren't that person, is going to get you much more positive attention than calling her an emasculating bitch.
The next approach is more difficult but possibly more effective. If you're a confident and witty guy, talk. Out loud. In the room. Make conversation. If the room is quiet, toss out a few opening lines about the current sport season or latest celebrity gossip, whatever people are talking about at the water cooler. If conversation is swirling in the room when you enter, listen for a bit then throw your two cents in. If you're not comfortable talking out loud, then you'll have to be more creative. We've already covered no lame lines or stupid flowers so what should you say? You want to stand out but there isn't one thing you can say that's going to work with every woman. Here's what I can tell you in general. Be complimentary without being too effusive. Make an overture without being totally available. And be patient. How would my advice look in practice?
Elegant Arrogance privately whispers to Target of Your Affection: *sends a drink and a note via the bartender... the note reads: It's impossible not to notice your glow in this room. I'm around if you'd like company.*
That leaves the ball in her court. Remember that you're competing for the attention of the smart, sexy women. There are plenty of guys in the rooms but most of them are too available, too aggressive or too stupid. Making your interest known but leaving it up to the woman says you don't need to work that hard. You've got something worth having and if she wants to see it, she'll have to ask. Confidence is extremely attractive.
Keep in mind, gentle reader, some percentage of the women you're trying to attract are already busy talking to someone else. Some are looking for something completely different than you have to offer. Don't be discouraged. Keep posting. Try different approaches and different rooms. Regardless of the direction you take, be polite, use spell checking when possible and respond to everyone that answers. Your efforts will eventually pay off.
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